“Mama,” my five year old son announced softly, “Daddy’s funner than you.”
“Okay,” I said. I blinked away a few tears as I knew how true that statement was.
He seemed to rethink what he said and added, “I mean you’re fun, but daddy’s funner.”
“Okay,” I said again.
I looked off because I didn’t want him to see my eyes watering. My glasses were a good enough shield.
He had hit a soft spot in me, and he was right. Daddy is much, much ‘funner’. I am not the fun one. I never have been. (I am so incredibly grateful to have such a fun husband, and fun daddy to my children.) However, I recently had the kids all to myself for a week while my husband was traveling on a work trip…. we barely left the house. Most of the time I just wanted to lie on the couch and sleep.
They are such sweet kids, really, and I knew what my son told me wasn’t in malice at all. He was simply speaking the truth, as children are known to do. I am not the fun one. Not by a long shot.
I often long to be a fun mom. I watch other moms with energy engage their multiple children in awe and wonder. What must it be like to have that much vigor, that much life? To be able to crawl around on the floor without searing pain? To have the energy and motivation to do fun and enlightening crafts and projects? To be able to swim with them, dance with them, really live with them?
To not just float through life, desperate to get… somewhere… but not knowing what that means?
Fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue is strange: what I have always thought of as my enemy, I have come to realize is actually my friend: my pain is my body telling me something is wrong. My body wants to be better.
It’s good to realize the symptoms I feel are trying to help me in some way. That really does make it a little better.
We’ll get through it. God has been so faithful to me in every way possible. Jesus came to earth healing people and making them whole, and I know that’s His plan for me.
The waiting is just not much fun sometimes, as my sweet 5 year old son will tell you.
5 thoughts on “Funner”
I, am also, not the fun one. See, the thing is that I’ve struggled with depression, chronic fatigue, PCOS, aches, pains, perfectionism, celiac and more… there always seems to be like there’s something going on with my health, and when there isn’t, I’m trying to clean the house up. I used to feel really guilty about that with my daughter- but now, I feel like I am FUN- just not in the way our culture defines fun all of the time. I might not crawl around with her for hours on the floor, but I do have long talks with her about words and definitions. We cook together, paint pictures together (I’m more the crafty mom) and mostly, I do my best with her every day and every day that looks different. I also realized that it takes time to find your mom groove, we’re all told to be something depending on who’s talking- but it comes down to how we thrive as moms. Also, it’s ebb and flow. Sometimes I am totally feeling up to being active, other days I want to lay on the couch and turn on something educational for her to watch. What’s important is that I don’t feel guilt, stay true to myself and love her the best I can. I hear you, I really do. I love your blog BTW
Hi Michelle. Thanks so much for your comment; it gave me a lot to think about. I’m so sorry to hear about your health struggles – I feel like I can relate a bit. But you’re right, and this is important: I AM FUN! I too have fun with word games and other ways not usually thought of as fun. I’m funny. When I was in more pain, it was hard to find things to laugh about together.
I started taking LDN – have you ever heard of this? It has been a game-changer for me. I encourage you to look into it (and also you others reading) if you never have.
And yes, I think even more important, is self-love and staying away from shame, guilt and condemnation. <3 Thank you again for your comment Michelle.
I’m not the fun one either *sigh* I do have energy though I’ve struggled with health/mental health issues…. I have my moments of being fun but it’s not my norm. I try to encourage myself that someone has to be the one to get things done and be the disciplinarian, etc. Hopefully my kids will say, “Dad was more fun but you taught me how to work and do things well”. It’s probably a long shot of a hope but there it is. Have you read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn? Gave me a lot to think about regarding this…
You know, I’ve never read that book. I will make sure to pick up a copy next time we go to the library; thanks for the recommendation. I do think too, my kids will say “Daddy was more fun and Mama taught us…” etc etc. I do feel though that the more time I spend with God, the more lighthearted I feel, even though I’m not a categorically “fun” person. Hopefully I can feel freer and freer as the years go by. 🙂 <3 Thanks for your comment.
Way past date . . .
You know fun is great and “little” children love fun. Unfortunately there’s more to life than fun. There has to be a balance in there somewhere or how would we recognize fun?
A great moments of fun often catch us unaware – beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
Reconsider your affinity for bacon, not only are you eating part of a scavenger, it is one of your Heavenly Father’s food laws.
Thank you for sharing with us.